Saturday 8 August 2009

This is me.

The last few years have been a struggle for me as most of you who read this already know. There have been times when I think I have it all sorted and then something happens that sends me back down into the abyss.

During the last few years, Rob's artwork has been going from strength to strength and has refrained from doing too many portraits of me as my self confidence is pretty well non existant.

But this week, following a few events that have seen my self esteem take a real knock, Rob decided to do a portrait of me. As he sees me...not as I see myself.

I suffered a gruelling 15 mins of photos where I felt so embarrassed and silly and just wanted to give up until finally the cat wandered over to me, broke my concentration and voila!! The perfect picture says Rob.

I can still see the tiredness, strain and depleted self respect in my face. The look that shows I am not a happy bunny. I can see that I am 2 stone overweight. But it is a good photograph.

Rob changed it to black and white and spent two sessions with pencil and charcoal, creating this.

I love it. It is the first picture of me from the last few years that I actually do like. I can't bear the camera being pointed at me these days. I freeze and consequently the picture looks awful. But this one is different.
So guys, this is me.

9 comments:

Carol said...

Carolyn - I love it. You can really see what Rob must see in you. That must make you feel special......

Carolyn said...

It is lovely isn't it. The likeness is really good. Maybe I'll be brave enough to post the original picture later!!! Then you can see the me that I see!!!!
Should of added that he is after comissions!!!

Big mamma frog said...

Aww...that's lovely! I too can't bear to have photos of me anymore. Perhaps I like to maintain the illusion that I still look the same as I did B.C. (before children). I've been hankering to lose weight and shift the frumpy me, but need to find some magical willpower.

Carolyn said...

That is exactly how I feel. It is almost misplaced vanity. Although mine isn't BC it's just BW (before William)! Yes, will power....what is that?!

funkyhan said...

It's gorgeous :) as are you :D

Carolyn said...

Thank you, Han. I wish I felt it!

rebntel said...

CAROLYN YOU ARE LOVELY! You are the person who needs to realise that. What you think of your self is the most important thing.You always do the best for you and yours....... well done kiddo!

Carolyn said...

Thank you Rebecca. If only my own mother could see that. Still, I have the adoption papers ready for you to sign!!! LOL

rebntel said...

Happy to sign them any day...